I Ain't That Guy
by jls62113
Summary: Michonne has a conversation with Daryl about why he's not relationship material. This is my take on Daryl Dixon. In my opinion he has to be one of the strongest characters on TWD because he knows who he is. He's come a long way, and has found his worth with Rick's group.


**I Ain't That Guy**

"Where have you been?" Michonne asked Daryl as he walked up the steps to their porch.

"Was y'all lookin' for me?"

"No, just haven't seen you in a couple days."

"I just went for a long walk."

"You do that every now and then don't you?"

"Whenever I feel that wall over there sufficat'n me. Is Rick home?"

"Why, you two have a play date scheduled?"

"Nah, I haven't seen y'all for a while either."

"He's inspecting the wall."

Daryl walked over to the rail across from where Michonne was sitting and sat on the railing.

"Daryl, do you ever think about Merle?"

"Not as much as I used to. I know he was a prick, but I miss him."

"You loved him, of course you would miss him."

"He didn't hurt you when he was taking you to the governor did he?"

"No. Down deep, your brother had a conscience. He let me go."

"Merle do'n anything good for anybody was rare, almost nonexistent."

"But he loved you, he told me as much."

Daryl looked a little fractured when Michonne told him that. It always made him sad to know for sure his brother is dead. Good or bad, he did love his brother.

"I'm going to ask you a question someone in the community wanted me to ask you. I know you, but I wouldn't speak for you."

"What is it?"

"There's a woman here who wanted to know if you had anyone."

"I don't want no one either."

"Are you afraid?"

Daryl looked at Michonne and nodded.

"Yeah."

He shook his head and looked up at the sky.

"Can I ask you why?"

"I got bad and scary things inside me. I don't wish that on nobody."

Daryl looked at Michonne for a long time. Daryl has never confided in anyone about his private life, not even Carol, but he felt he could talk to Michonne. She would never bring what he told her back in his face.

"You met Merle. Imagine bein' raised with him, by somebody like him only worse, and an alcoholic mother. My parents rarely knew I was in the room unless my old man was pissed off about somethin' and needed a whippin' post. What are my chances of bein' different than that?"

"Your chances are better because you're with us now."

"Some memories just don't wash away." Daryl thought of how his father would whip him an ironing cord over minor infractions. "No tellin' how long we'll be here and safe. We're good now, but things change fast, you know that. I'm rootin' for you and Rick for the long haul cuz you two are right, and you got the kids to look after."

"It takes all of us to raise those kids. When we went to Woodbury to get Glenn and Maggie, I heard Rick thank you for helping with Judith. Rick and I wouldn't have been able to do some of the things we did without our group there to pick up the slack. You were a big part of that; you and that big heart of yours you pretend you don't have. Rick considers you his brother."

"Yeah, well he ain't real bright."

Michonne laughed.

"Have you ever been in love?"

"Nah. I liked a girl once, but Merle screwed that up for me."

"I'm not surprised at that. Let me guess. He called you weak, and that you should get all you can from her and dump her."

Daryl scoffed.

"That's putting it nicely."

"He's not here anymore, and you're a different person than you used to be, even since I've met you."

"Same to you. I thought you and Rick were gonna go to blows there for a while, but guess I was just seein' the beginnin' of what y'all have now."

"We've come a long way." Michonne said smiling inwardly recalling her journey with Rick. "You don't want a family of your own?"

"Not in this mess, probably not ever. I don't want a child of mine havin' just as bad a childhood as I had. Carl was already born, and lil' ass kicker is just that. Kids in this world need parents like you and Rick, not me and somebody who ain't like you."

Michonne laughed.

"What do you mean by that?"

"You survive. Anyone less than that won't do. I don't even know if I could treat someone the way I should cuz I really don't know what that is. I sure didn't see it in my family when I was growin' up, and I ain't that guy who sits down to dinner with the wife and kids, gets 'em ready for bed and kisses 'em goodnight. I just ain't that guy."

"I understand." Michonne smiled sadly at Daryl looking in his eyes. Deep in her heart she knew he was thinking of Beth, and he knew she knew that.

"So tell whoever she is that I ain't interested." Daryl said abruptly, hopping down from the rail.

"Well, I won't say it like that."

"See what I mean?"

"Come over for dinner tomorrow. Maybe I can change you from a duck to a swan."

Daryl scoffed and walked over to the steps to leave.

"I like being a duck. I'll see you tomorrow for dinner."

Michonne wanted to feel sorry for Daryl, but couldn't. He knew himself and his limitations, and she respected him for that.


End file.
